he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
