Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
