The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
