she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
