The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
