I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
