Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
