i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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