went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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