Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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