1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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