I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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