on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
