it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize