On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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