if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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