He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
