you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
