I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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