Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
