I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Pooping to opera.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
