So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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