dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
