it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
