I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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