I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize