billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
