did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
