Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
