i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
North Korea, Best Korea!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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