I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
