the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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