so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
