Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
