the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
