you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
