There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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