I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
