she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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