if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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