I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
