Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
