I cannot find my penis.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
