my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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