So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize