evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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