jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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