...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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