he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
