Quick, to the slutcave!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
