I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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