I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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