i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
