even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
