CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
