Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
