Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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