peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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