I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
