Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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