I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
